The meaning of dreams has always been interesting to me. In my experience, most people share a certain fascination with their dreams but make little effort to understand them. Dreams fade fast and it's easy to let them remain a curious oddity.
Our confusion about our own dreams seems to reflect a larger ignorance about the meaning of dreams in society as a whole. There are most likely many factors that contribute to this, one being they just seem plain weird! It's not hard to understand how intimidating the task of understanding can be for a novice interpreter. Despite this, with a little guidance, most of us can discover profound messages and direction in our dreams. If you read my earlier posts about Focusing, or are already familiar with this awareness practice, it may come as no surprise that it can be applied to dream interpretation. Eugene Gendlin, the founder of the Focusing practice also authored a book called, Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams. This book not only seeks to apply Focusing to dream work but also to incorporate various theories about dream interpretation. One result of his efforts is the formulation of a provocative list of questions that can be used to increase your understanding of dream content. Here is a link to an abridged version of the questions provided by Leland E. Shields, MS, MA from his book, Dreamwork: Around the World and Across Time.
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"Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel."
-Socrates "We suffer more in imagination than in reality."
- Lucius Seneca "To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul."
-Simone Weil "Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion."
-Bell Hooks "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
-Marie Curie "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
-George Bernard Shaw "Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth."
-Pema Chodron “No one can lose either the past or the future - how could anyone be deprived of what [one] does not possess? ... It is only the present moment of which either stands to be deprived: and if this is all [one] has, [one] cannot lose what [one] does not have.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations You cannot change the past and you cannot predict the future, and yet how much of your time is spent concerned about one or the other? In contrast to the lack of control you have over past and future, the present is very much in your hands and, Marcus Aurelius suggests, it is the only thing you possess that you can really lose. As I reflect on my own experience, I notice a pattern of "losing the present" and it's almost always self-inflicted. I ruminate over something from earlier in the day or the week and lose the present. I worry about some upcoming situation and lose the present. A free moment opens up in my day and, as if I were present-phobic, I root around for something to ruminate, worry or distract me. To me, this is the "deprivation" that Aurelius speaks of. The good news is that we have incredible control over the present if only we could strengthen our ability and resolve to do so. I find it interesting that the book that gave rise to this blog is called Meditations because, to me, meditation (and mindfulness) is the perfect place to start to begin to recapture the present. What is meditation? Meditation is a practice that is intended to encourage a heightened state of awareness and focused attention. What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the ability to aware of our moment to moment experience, including our thoughts and feelings, and not becoming overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is taking place. Besides just generally making you feel better, these practices have been proven to contribute to: *Lowered blood pressure *Reduced release of the stress hormone cortisol *Improved immune system *Slowed age-related atrophy of the brain *Mitigate anxiety and depression *Improve focus and productivity There are numerous places you could begin in order to find out more about meditation and mindfulness. I recommend an app called "10% Happier," which was developed by Dan Harris, who wrote a book by the same name. I have struggled to establish a meditation practice for many years and this app has helped me be more consistent than ever before. The pitch is tremendously practical and relatable. Basically, it's for people who are resistant or skeptical about meditation and works to dispel the myths that perpetuate these barriers with simple steps for establishing an effective meditation practice. I encourage you to find out more, the only thing you have to lose is the present. Other Mindfulness/Meditation Authors: Jeff Warren- writer and and author of, "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics." Shinzen Young- teacher and developer of Unified Mindfulness. I don't quite remember how I stumbled across Jeffrey Young's, "Early Maladaptive Schemas," but it is something that I found immediately helpful and, since then, I have been using it more than any other session aide in my work with clients.
Dr. Young's summary stems from Schema theory which asserts that there are 18 common self-defeating patterns which can manifest during childhood that stem from unmet basic emotional needs. These can result in unhealthy coping patterns including surrender, avoidance, overcompensation and lead to suffering. Which one of these has gotten a hold of you? I usually send new clients a link after the 1st or 2nd session and follow up with them at the next appointment. I have yet to find someone who doesn't relate to at least one of the schemas and often they relate to several. The reason I consistently go back to these ideas is that everyone was a child at one point and everyone did whatever they could do to survive (i.e. get their emotional needs met or cope with not getting them met). By reviewing the schema list, clients have an opportunity to begin to make sense of why they do what they do and why they feel what they feel. Almost every time, clients and I can draw direct lines between the schema(s) they identify with and the issues that have brought them to therapy. I invite you to take a look to see if this helps you to understand yourself a little bit better. Depending on what you discover, I encourage you to consider following up with a counselor to figure out how you can begin to free yourself from the schema that is putting limitations on your life. |